There’s days where I miss him a lot. Days where I can’t feel him or sense him close. Those are the days I read over past conversations and remember how he made me feel always. Always loved. Always cared for.
I miss true unconditional love.
Sometimes even breathing gets hard when I think about him. He was my best friend. A part of my soul. I’ve not known anyone as long as him as deeply and closely. That’s why I feel numb and empty.
It’s been mind expanding though. Reconnecting me with things and nuances I once loved and cherished.
Music, moments to myself, sunsets, late night pondering, escapism.
Things that connected us and made us who we were.
That realisation though.
That the hole will never be filled. That I will always be changed now he is gone. That part of me died when he did.
That I know now what true and meaningful friendships and love is like.
I wish I could see him just once. Just to hear him one more time.
All I have though is this.
10:35 am • 20 April 2014
I love how you get down marmar… I miss you craycray
6:13 pm • 26 March 2014
The hardest part is the moments like these. The times I wish I could send you these at 3/4am in the morning knowing that you’d be awake inspired by your insane talent to produce nothing but beautiful sounds.. And you would stop and tell me, you love me.
Those are the hard moments.
Those are the moments I miss the most.
7:30 am • 24 March 2014 • 1 note
Morning Melbourne!! Off to Sydney then onto Goldy, gonna be fun!
4:27 pm • 10 March 2014
This is about you Marmar xx
7:52 am • 5 March 2014
Reminiscing.. I wish it to be a dream. I wish to wake up and you would be playing a stupid prank on us all.
I can’t grasp life without you.. Life before these letters, life during them, life after.. It all meant so much to me and goddamit I hope you know how much you were adored. My face hurts from so much frustration. I keep telling myself you’re with me but I don’t know, I can’t feel you yet.
#numb #remeberthetimewhen #marmartaughtme #marcusgoforth
11:12 pm • 3 March 2014
The one constant thing in my life for the last 14 years. God it stings.
I can’t believe you are gone when we had finally organised out adult lives. I can’t even go to your page anymore and poke you to wake you from your production slumber and get a silly nerd lamp photo or laugh about what song you can sample next.
The prettiest sunset here right now and I can’t send you a pic in the small hours of the morning.
God you are gonna be missed.
If I can touch half as many people as you have Mar I’ll know it’s because you imparted your love on me.
What am I gonna do without you?
Visit me in my dreams, you promised you wouldn’t forget.
#marmartaughtme #marmar #TNbear #marcusgoforth #friendsforever #neverforget #itiswhatitis #loveyou
3:55 am • 3 March 2014
Wanted a treat but wanted to know what I was eating for breakfast this morning. Cue the best kind of pancakes around- the ones you make yourself! Here’s my recipe for a single serve
3 egg whites
2 TB of vanilla Optimum Nutrition 100% Casein powder
1 TB Flaxseed meal
1.5 TB Psyllium Husks
1 tsp cinnamon
Whisk all ingredients together with a fork or in a shaker until no lumps.. Mixture is quite thick so add 3 TB of water after mixing.
Heat a pan with 1 tsp coconut butter and cook mixture in circles the size of Palm.
I added a naughty treat of 1TB of Nutella and 1TB natural unsweetened Greek yoghurt to mine.
#pancakes #recipe #optimumnutrition #yum #awesome #easypancakes
8:57 pm • 15 February 2014 • 1 note